just today

i swear to you this ALL happened, just today... this was an epic saturday.

chandler! don't say that we're on the byu campus!
what are the spiritual police gonna come get me? "i sensed a disturbance in the force"
these are not the droids you're looking for. -kate/chandler/ emily

i will get Alexander the great to kill you in the next life!
jimi henderix will melt his brain with a guitar solo.
alexander would beat him over the head with his guitar!
jimi will lit it on fire and use it as a battle axe!
alexander has Grecian amries... well they're Macedonian.
jimi has high hippies. they'll give all the soldiers blow jobs. -chandler vs. emily

too much popcorn -troll 2

see, the girls are attracted to me! -kate

good game -cami

you don't piss on hospitality -chandler

spring break

look mexicans -Cami

give me my fries! no not those! the ones you haven't contaminated with your foolishness -Emily

you, he's a fruitcake huh? -Cami

stupid Mcdonalds... giving me two cups of coffee.... i didn't even want this....ONE IS SPILLING! -Cami

no, i've got to sluff seminary so i can go to my english class and take my math test... wait. -Cami

its like narnia.... you could fit anything in there
thats what she said -Angela/Emily

no the four count meal not the six count the SIX COUNT MEAL! no four count meal! just the six COUNT MEAL! -Angela

"lets get loud! ... thats what she said. -Emily

chandler! i just got to secondhand second base with kate and nikki! -emily

its like a hand orgie. -Chandler

i'm stuck down a well.... how can i make this sexual?
you could have sex in the well.
no dude, i don't have well sex.
but do you have sex well?
yes. i have sex well but i don't have well sex. that would be gross -emily/kate

where's cheyenne again, chandler? -cami

you work at a dry cleaners too! respect man! -Emily

he died in a scuba diving accident.... now he's haunting nikki and me with frysauce and root beer floats. -Stephanie

i think i look too sexy in these glasses
i know i look sexy cause i can see myself in your glasses! -Angela/emily

do you have a mirror in your pocket? ... cause i can see myself in your pants -Chandler (worlds best/worst pick up line)

i am getting hand held raped! and no one cares! -emily

screw you bitch body -Chandler

i woke up when the mexican guy needed me to jump start his car -Emily

if you're going to die do it on your water bed... preferably after sex
or during. -emily/chandler

i wish we were that dirty... i mean! it would mean we were having fun! ... wait! -Nikki

dear followers

i am aware that it has been quite a while since i've posted. i... well there was.... really i have no excuse. i just haven't, and i will need your help remembering some but here are the ones i remember.

"Thank you dear redeemer!" -angela

"Probably me. i'm like an STD" -Cami

"humming bird sitting on my orangish poop." -Kate

"Age before beauty.... wait.." -Cami

"Because all STD's come through your feet! screw you administration!" -Kate

"Kayli can be my boyfriend on Tuesdays!" -Emily

"I have this whole inter-racial thing going on! she's Asian!" -Emily