This conversation makes me feel like I'm being attacked by rabid koala bears.. -Emily

LIKE A PHOENIX!

hooked on phoenix! no! this is my blog rising from the ashes like a phoenix, reborn to kick blog ass with all our awesomeness! new and improved (even though something can't actually be new AND improved) thanks to Cami Hobbes, who is now also the co-writer! woo hoo! so this is today's quotes. (the first two are from the end of jr. year. they've been haunting my phone. now they're here!)

Faramones be ragin'! -Cami

if you need to do something with your legs out farther than this, you don't need a skirt on. -Kate

*while grasping Nikki's head trying to explain the story of Adonis* Oh no! my beautiful boy! I shot you in the forehead! become a flower! -Emily

I thought it said orgasmic tea -Cami

Its so easy to date-rape Kate.

its true. give me half a dose of nyquil and I'm out for a day. -Emily/Kate

You can't date rape me I'm a ninja!

What if a ninja date raped you?

Then he'd deserve to. -Emily/Nick

We almost got one blog without chandler quoted. but! this is an important conversation

its my couch!

No its mine. I had it first.

why don't we just share it.

Like a time share! you can have it Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, and i'll have it Tuesdays Thursdays and Saturdays. We can share it on Fridays. -Emily/Chandler.

this is my life

omg my bff Erik works for my dad, and lives with him. he's a really cute guy, and too shy to talk to girls, so my dad does it for him, which really just makes things worse. so if you're a 20 something single chick looking for the coolest guy EVER! you should look him up.
here is what we said today.
"I should just do this article, its short and easy."
"You're short and easy." -Kate/Erik

this is just what i can remember at this time, while i'm just sitting at work, pretending to be working, but not really, because there isn't anyone in the store! so i'm hanging out with erik.

"I can unbutton your shirt in three seconds. but you could undo mine in like one."
"But that would be awkward, cause you have boobs."
"Just little ones." -Emily/Chandler.

"It senses your sword."
"New catch phrase!" -Angela/Kate

"Freakin' balls! what balls! i tell ya." -Random balding dude wearing a shirt with corn on it. (this is my life in the store at UVU.)

just today

i swear to you this ALL happened, just today... this was an epic saturday.

chandler! don't say that we're on the byu campus!
what are the spiritual police gonna come get me? "i sensed a disturbance in the force"
these are not the droids you're looking for. -kate/chandler/ emily

i will get Alexander the great to kill you in the next life!
jimi henderix will melt his brain with a guitar solo.
alexander would beat him over the head with his guitar!
jimi will lit it on fire and use it as a battle axe!
alexander has Grecian amries... well they're Macedonian.
jimi has high hippies. they'll give all the soldiers blow jobs. -chandler vs. emily

too much popcorn -troll 2

see, the girls are attracted to me! -kate

good game -cami

you don't piss on hospitality -chandler

spring break

look mexicans -Cami

give me my fries! no not those! the ones you haven't contaminated with your foolishness -Emily

you, he's a fruitcake huh? -Cami

stupid Mcdonalds... giving me two cups of coffee.... i didn't even want this....ONE IS SPILLING! -Cami

no, i've got to sluff seminary so i can go to my english class and take my math test... wait. -Cami

its like narnia.... you could fit anything in there
thats what she said -Angela/Emily

no the four count meal not the six count the SIX COUNT MEAL! no four count meal! just the six COUNT MEAL! -Angela

"lets get loud! ... thats what she said. -Emily

chandler! i just got to secondhand second base with kate and nikki! -emily

its like a hand orgie. -Chandler

i'm stuck down a well.... how can i make this sexual?
you could have sex in the well.
no dude, i don't have well sex.
but do you have sex well?
yes. i have sex well but i don't have well sex. that would be gross -emily/kate

where's cheyenne again, chandler? -cami

you work at a dry cleaners too! respect man! -Emily

he died in a scuba diving accident.... now he's haunting nikki and me with frysauce and root beer floats. -Stephanie

i think i look too sexy in these glasses
i know i look sexy cause i can see myself in your glasses! -Angela/emily

do you have a mirror in your pocket? ... cause i can see myself in your pants -Chandler (worlds best/worst pick up line)

i am getting hand held raped! and no one cares! -emily

screw you bitch body -Chandler

i woke up when the mexican guy needed me to jump start his car -Emily

if you're going to die do it on your water bed... preferably after sex
or during. -emily/chandler

i wish we were that dirty... i mean! it would mean we were having fun! ... wait! -Nikki

dear followers

i am aware that it has been quite a while since i've posted. i... well there was.... really i have no excuse. i just haven't, and i will need your help remembering some but here are the ones i remember.

"Thank you dear redeemer!" -angela

"Probably me. i'm like an STD" -Cami

"humming bird sitting on my orangish poop." -Kate

"Age before beauty.... wait.." -Cami

"Because all STD's come through your feet! screw you administration!" -Kate

"Kayli can be my boyfriend on Tuesdays!" -Emily

"I have this whole inter-racial thing going on! she's Asian!" -Emily

nap time

there's really nothing to say just....

"Life is just an interruption of nap time." -Random kid sits next to me in class.

"don't you know better than to reach into my pocket when i'm on the phone!"
"i'm sorry, pocket reaching into is just a normal thing for me." -Kate and Cami

chandler without social contact for a week is just bloggable in and of itself.

"we are taveren! ....we have the nerdiest arguements." -Emily

"Cake or death?! ... uh i'll have the cake please."
"you killed 100,000 people? ...well done. you must get up really early in the morning! i can't even get to the gym. what does your diary look like. death death death death death death death death death death lunch death death death death death death afternoon tea death death death death death death quick shower..." -eddie izard

oops

i haven't blogged in forever, so this is going to be a lot longer. i seem to also have forgotten many. if you have anythings that you recall needing to be blogged, please email me at lonleynation@gmail.com. here are your quotes

"That's it! Wendy's dips their bacon in milk shakes!" -Kate

"You don't taste like a cookie... or bacon dipped in milkshake." -Nikki

"I'm not dipped in milkshake." -nikki

"Nate has like a hundred friends, and they're all coming because everyone loves him!" *awkward silence of laughter resistance.* "I have to pee really bad." -Emily

"i don't think you need espresso." -guy from kneaders

"dear Chocolate Eclair, we will be poop in an hour or so." -Cami

"Dear Jesus, we would all like boyfriends. Nice ones... oh and hot. and a sweet one for emily... and a non horny one for angela and...................agoodkisserforkate. Amen. -Cami

"Tell that to this damn virus." -Chandler

"if it isn't against the BYU honor code, its not worth doing." -Chandler

dear cami... i love you

"my panties are yellow. its like a happy surprise every time i have to go potty."-Cami

"(does he feel the same way i feel?) of course he does, he's nick jonas." -Kate

"Were you aware that your brothers suck at singing?"

"Yeah. yeah i was."-Cami

"nick jonas, like THE nick jonas? so you're auditioning for the part of... marius? uh... k? good luck with that?"-Kate

"Also we are indiana jones." -Cami

"He is one hunk of a man. insert drooling here" -Cami

best. thursday. ever.

chandler wanted to watch pride and prejudice. i had been on no human contact for two days, and as a result crazy. cami was making rainbow cupcakes...

"Cue butt check out." -Cami

"*doorbell rings* the phone is ringing!"-Kate

"they're into butts."

"which is weird cause their boobs are like all pushed up and squished."

"Well they see the boobs, its the butts they're curious about." -Cami/Kate

"Why do i have the insatiable urge to slap your butt today?!" -Kate

"It would be if we had a giant cupcake named seymour."-Chandler

"You can't stroke my mustache! its too awesome... no its not its ugly." -Chandler ( i <3>

"what if i scooped chandler's brain out with this?" -Kate

"They all have butt fettishes!" -Chandler

"now please before i hemerage!"-Cami

"you look like a stepford wife with a smug smile on your face and making deliciousness."-Kate

"Crap! now you're stuck. thatswhatshesaid."-Cami

"guys what did i say about slowing down... thats also what she said." -Kate

"look at that mule! its a graceful mule." -Chandler

"he's a snuggly little cat... prrrr... thats the sound he makes... meow." -Chandler

"like i want to bathe in her money. rub it in my armpits and call it salmonella." -Chandler

"Kate? are you trippin'?" -Regan

"I can't finish that sentence to someone who thinks they can say 'trippin''"-Kate

"Awkward zoom. who filmed this?" -Chandler.

chandler has problems.

"Penis? .... wasn't that what you guys were saying?" -Chandler

"I could be a chickenatarian!"-Cami

"Yeah they were totally dick sizing each other. i mean... what? i didn't say that!" -Cami on Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickam

"Blogged." -Kate

i forgetted these.

p.s. (enough said)- because she's whiny and wants her credit.emily

"That'll be 2.14."

"Okay, here's three....NO!! PAUSE!!!! I think I have fourteen cents....here's a dime and a . . . what, what is this? Is this a nickel? Um, okay, here's your dime and your genetically mutated nickel-thing. Enjoy your life. Keep the penny."-Emily.

"it's weird, it's like i'm fine then i'm the same then i'm fine again. i don't understand my body. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!"-Kate

"I'll be wearing my tie dye bra on my wedding night."

"Me too."

"I'll wear my lingerie"

"I'll be naked."

-emily kate nikki cami

BREAKING NEWS! we still rock.

it is true! no matter how hard they try that can't make us stop rocking!! it just doesn't work!! in other news the blogger has announced a new segment called Awesome Pictures We Take, will be coming soon.

"The department of Kick Assery in heaven, headed by Alexander the Great, and I am the secretary... so i can sleep with him." - emily (in assosiation with Chandler)

"It's like the science portion, it doesn't make sense." -Cami

"French Fry Sex." -Kate

"Oranges reproduce sexually" -Chandler

"Your mom goes to college! I wish, so she'd stay out of my life." - Emily and Cami

"Get off the lesbian bench now!" -Angela

"If i ever become a 'We' with a boy i give you permission to kidnap me for weeks at a time and tie me to the bed to make me stop.... actually don't tie me to the bed that sounds kinky." -Kate

veronica made the blog!

"There is no hole in this peachie-o" -Veronica

Oscars

the oscars are filled with odd quotes. but mostly just this one.

"She breathes Oprah air."

"How do i get some of that Oprah air?"

"You're a trillionare.... and black.... and Oprah."

First day of keeping track of quotes

this was the first day i worte down all the things we said. i kid you not these all happened on one day. Friday, Feb. 25

"What is Guetenburg invented the printing press!"-Chandler & Kate

"i feel like i would say 'good game' after sex" -Cami

"Penises are gross!" -Cami

"Get off me you're weird!" -Chandler

"Good game... also penises are gross." -Cami

"Now you're cheeks are too tight! loosen up!" -Kate

"You know what it tastes like? An awkward Lollie pop!" -Kate

"You're worse than a camel, with 8 legs. which are the sexiest kind.... spider camels!" -chandler

"where am i going? some magical journey of hippos?.... Unicorns!" -Chandler

"I've got a V6 bitch!" -Chandler

"Nikki's always in the middle." -Kate

"I wouldn't use a condom, it ruins the magic." -Chandler

"its you're birthday? oh shit! i'll be there in ten minutes with a thong!" -Chandler

The classics

Hello and welcome to Awesome things we say. This is a blog to document all the amazing things all my friends and I say that are inappropriate for facebook! because small children and adults can see stuff there.

here we go!

"Congratulations Nephi! you've won a car!" "thank you God" -Kate

"I'd like three diet waters and some mints." -chandler

"thank you Jesus Pillow Pet" -Chandler

"Here i come i am cin-e-mon" -Harrison

"You can fake pep, you can't fake Donuts." -Emily

"Stupid seagulls! you ate a bunch of crickets no one gives a damn!" -Chandler

"Bitch." -Angela (after people eat her Cinnamon bites.)

"Ok! Penis sword is no officially cheating!" -Kate

"Emily touch my knee! its a matter of friendship!" -Nikki

"Would you touch a rapist?" -Emily

"your left butt cheek does what? it sucks in?" -Nikki

you suck balls.

like a gay guy.